Being one of a ‘Couple' can be a pretty phenomenal thing.
When you have fully committed to another, you create an entire life-scape full of dreams, goals, experiences and memories. In essence, you create your very own live and luscious ecosystem.
But let's be real here.
How can it be that two people come together in L.O.V.E...
...only to find themselves 'falling-apart' months or years down the track..?
LOVE is NOT the ONLY FORCE we bring into a relationship
We also bring into our combined eco-system each other’s backgrounds, family upbringing, personal goals and diverse expectations.
We each have our individual views about how our other half SHOULD behave. We even have internalised expectations about how WE personally would like to behave.
All of these fused forces have to somehow fall into the tempo of everyday life, in the mix of all the things that couples may face together…
Money woes. Working away. Growing children. Fertility issues. Intrusive in-laws. Family upbringing. Declining sex drives. Stressful jobs. Health complications. Recreational interests.
Seriously – when we lay it all out – couples have a hell-of-a-lot on their plates to not just keep themselves together, but to also keep their love for each other ALIVE and THRIVING.
So let me ask you this…
How do you feel your relationship stands-up, right now, in the throes of the day-to-day?
Yer-know what I’m talking about here…
Broken sleep. Deadlines at work. Staffing issues. Empty toothpaste tubes. Teething babies. Kids having nightmares. Lost socks. Never-ending chores. White goods breaking-down. Budgets not stretching. Empty toilet rolls. Wet towels on the ground. Ground-hog day routine.
---- Here’s the thing –--
You can love your partner from here to Mars and back
-- But --
If your relationship is not prepped for the ‘small-problem-life-stuff’', along with the ‘big-problem-life-stuff’, then your relationship can erupt (unexpectedly, like ol’ Pompeii).
Just like that,
you've got hot lava
on your hands.
The truth is, LOVE ALONE, is not enough.
We need to inject ACTION into the equation.
We need to get dang-hot skills in LOVING. No, I’m not talking about SEX here, what I am talking about is LOVE as a verb.
You see, I truly believe bomb-proofing our intimate relationships is a skill that WE NEED TO LEARN.
When we are small tots, most of us are taught some basic life skills. Things like:
Opening a bank account and following a budget (if we’re lucky!), riding a bike and learning how to swim. We're even taught social decorum (the Ps & Qs) and hopefully to give our seats up for our elders on the bus.
However, I think our social education is starkly lacking in one area:
We are not taught how to ‘be’ one part of a two-part equation
We are not taught how to nurture and sustain a loving, intimate relationship; one that will last the distance over the long haul…
BUT (and this is a BIG BUT)….
We absolutely DO possess the qualities we need to LEARN the ART of LOVING.
You CAN LEARN the fundamental skills required to take your relationship to deeper and greater levels of intimacy, passion, respect and a relaxed space of ‘ease’ than you ever thought possible.
Let me ask you a simple question...
How do you know when your relationship is humming along in a good place for both of you…?
That question is easy to answer:
You relationship ‘feels easy.’
You feel relaxed and happy around each other
You laugh and joke together most days
When the context is right, you’re ‘down’ with amicable silence; you don’t rush to fill the void
You genuinely support each other’s goals and personal hobbies without feeling resentment or a sense of neglect
You consistently hold a deep sense of loving energy between the two of you that keeps you feeling encouraged and inspired
You occasionally fight and/or argue (we’re all human here!) but you manage your disagreements with awareness, confident that ‘after rupture comes repair’
I know they say that LOVE makes the world go ‘round, but I’d tweak that saying if I could.
I would say that actually:
RELATIONSHIPS MAKE THE WORLD GO ‘ROUND
Our Relationship with:
...Contributes to forming:
Our RELATIONSHIP TEMPLATES.
If we have a marred template,
we’re always going to struggle
in our relationships with others.
In the past, I have worked as a Child and Family Therapist where I witnessed, time and again, how the RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN parents or main care givers of a child, had more influence over that child’s trajectory than any other factor in their life.
In short, the child’s main models for how a ‘relationship’ works, taught them how to think about themselves, and how to relate to others.
Who were your relationship role models as you were growing up?
From where you stand now, what children and young people are looking up to you, LEARNING how-to-do-relationships by following your example..?
-- I put my hand up to say --
---I had to DECIDE to become a better partner--- !!!
In the past, after a failed marriage, a partnership rife with all the ‘relationship baggage’ we’d each brought to the table, I was spat out the other end with some hard-won education. I realised that:
I needed to get (a sh#tload!) better at this relationship gig…!
Profound. I know.
If I’m being bones-bare truthful, one of my learning curves lay in ‘dealing with my own ups and downs’ without unfairly taking it out on my spouse. Ouch.
On the other hand, my partner had to get better at how to be 'emotionally present' (without shutting-down and turning off) during the hard-hard, sh#tty times.
I knooow – these 'learnings' sound so obvious, but left unaddressed, these same ‘habits’ wreak havoc on our most intimate relationship in life.
Which points to a HUGE 'AHA' for anyone serious about nurturing a rich and expansive relationship;
We’ve got to MASTER how to over-ride old patterns of relating to each other with an entirely new way of interacting.
To do that we need to IMPRINT behavioural change using:
(Plasticity of the Brain is a wonderful thing! It means that when given the right tools, we can change our Mind-Set & behaviour..!)
(Knowledge alone is not enough. We also need to tap into the infinite wisdom of our bodies to make our new-found learnings STICK)
And so… for the likes of you and me, I’ve created a no-stone unturned...
--- BIG LOVE COACHING SYSTEM for COUPLES ---
How does this work…? In a nut-shell, when you sign-up to work with me, you receive these pearlers:
"Schweet!" you say, "but what will I tangibly ‘learn’…?"
A somatic (body-based) skill for releasing the influence of past painful experiences (so they don’t impact your current relationship)
Techniques for quickly dissolving conflict ‘in the heat of the moment’ to help you reach a state of feeling peaceable and amicable again
The root cause of why partners criticise each other and begin to feel discontented
How to quit relapsing into ‘blame’ and instead harness problem-solving language that (actually) work
The basic ‘Relationship Rubrics’ to nurture a union of ease and contentment
How to eliminate Commitment Fears (for both yourself and your partner)
Methods to communicate in a way that your partner can sincerely understand (no more banging your head against the wall with the words “you’re not hearing or me!” Or, “are you even listening to me..!!”)
Fail-proof strategies to inspire your love to demonstrate gratitude for the important role you play in their life
Overcoming the main obstacles to knowing deep and lasting love with your partner
How to take ‘anger’ out of the equation during times of conflict so that you can find resolution together with a ‘cool head’
Finding happiness as a couple, even in the face of financial, health and general 'life' problems
The truth about feeling attraction for people outside of your relationship – and how to manage this before any damage is done…
And, of course, how to get on the ‘same page’ about S.E.X.
Really…? I’m going to learn ALL of THE ABOVE…? BUT, pray tell, HOW…?!
Good question..! I have a grand plan.. it’s worked before, and it’ll work again…(check out some of my previous programs here)
My combination of Enriching Content, together with Guided Mentoring is carefully designed to build one-block on-top of the next over each week we work together. This means you absorb 'the-right-stuff-in-the-right-order' making your journey painlessly sustainable and deeply transformative.
I.E. You get the results you are looking for..!
Cultivating presence - how to sincerely relate to one another to deepen your passionate connection
Reorienting your compass - how to rediscover yourself and your own identity by aligning with your hidden value-code
Love Semantics - the key words you need to use with your partner to create a space of loving connection between you again
The Essential List - creating this list can recover your relationship from the brink
Dissolving Conflict - learn the techniques to quickly return to a space of ease and rationale decision-making
Lasting results - move beyond the ‘same old stuff’ you’ve been arguing about for years with enduring, tangible, results
Anger Release - use tried and tested methods for overcoming feelings of anger, agitation and frustration when talking with your partner about something that’s been upsetting you
Banishing Blame - Get out of ‘Blame Lane’ to cultivate open and honest dialogue
Renewed Patterns - identify if you are caught in a cycle of ‘repeating past patterns’ from previous experiences and relationships
Biology Boost - rewire your brain for love by understanding the evolutionary journey of the brain and how it impacts your relationship today
Autopilot Blueprint - acquaint yourself with what neuroscientists have to say about how-to generate blissful feelings of happiness and satisfaction to positively influence your love life
Keeping it Fun! - surprising (and refreshing!) techniques to sincerely reconnect with yourself and the most important ‘other’ in your life
Daily Re-energisers - discover concrete methods to identify common energy zappers in your life, and how to replace them with energy zingers (this can only GOOD NEWS for your relationship)
New Views - move from feeling STUCK in ground-hog day in your relationship to feeling like your relationship is ever-expanding and THRIVING again
Let’s talk about S.E.X. (baby) - how to bring passionate attraction and love back into your relationship
Kicking Criticism - get off the Complain and Criticise Train (because that place stinks!) and return to the Love Boat (for GOOD)
Enduring Love - pick up the ‘Relationship Rubrics’ to keep your partnership alive and healthy over the long haul
Storm Safe - the fool-proof instruction kit on how to recommit to your relationship (over and over again) in the face of whatever obstacles and challenges life throws at you both
Get Satisfied - the essential know-how on decreasing discontent in your relationship as the years lengthen
Embracing Tomorrow - One concrete action you can take, here and now, to love-proof your future
PLUS FREE BONUS CONTENT
Infidelity. Let’s go there.
How to fool-proof your relationship from ever going-there…
Recovering from unfaithfulness (for both parties, including recuperating from betrayal and returning from remorse)
One last thought from Tamara….
I sincerely believe that RELATIONSHIPS really do make the world go ‘round.
We are hard-wired (at a neurobiological level!) to connect and relate. In fact, our very trajectory, sense of fulfilment and satisfaction in life is directly traceable to the state of our relationships.
Helping people preserve and enrich their relationships, and FALL IN LOVE with their partner, all over again, forms part of a greater (personal) life mission I’m on.
Yah yah – I know, my ‘life mission’ sounds terribly ‘dorky;’ all bambi-eyed naivety and milk-full optimism. But it’s a mission nonetheless.
You see, I sincerely believe that the state of this grand ol’ world, starts, always and ever, at home. And it begins and ends with RELATIONSHIPS. Relationships with:
Ourselves. Our Spouse. Our family. Our community.
If we can learn how to exist in and contribute to deeply fulfilling, enriching, LOVING connections in our most important relationships in life, we are, in essence, contributing to the greater tapestry of life.
We are walking embodiments of what it is to breathe and live with raised consciousness, with softer footprints, and with abiding contentment in our Souls.
Am I saying we have to be PERFECT all the time..? Hell no. But I am saying it is absolutely POSSIBLE, and, more than that, IMPERATIVE, to learn how to get good at LOVING.
Because at the end of the day, when the death knoll fells, and we are forced to look back on what really, truly, deeply matters, do you think we’re going to lament about how-much money we did or didn’t make? Do you truly think you’re going to stress about ‘how successful’ you were, or what kind of car you drove..?
Nah. My bets on this:
You’re going to look to your relationships.
You’re going to reflect on how much meaning, satisfaction and happiness you held and nourished with the people you loved most. You’re going to wish you laughed more, loved deeply and worried less together with the people that made your world go 'round…
And so I leave you with this:
Your relationship with both yourself and your life partner:
…could be a never-ending source of trouble, distress and one bitter argument to the next…
.. it could be the very channel that propels your entire life – an infinite stream of meaningfulness, satisfaction, happiness and the BIGGEST and GRANDEST of LOVES.
I for one offer these (profound) words…
Don’t frick around.
Dive into BIG LOVE FOR COUPLES, and bolster your relationship against the challenges of life and time.
Make BIG LOVE your first and last priority.
What my (beloved) clients say...
**NB: (As this is a new program, these testimonials provide my clients' experience in relation to earlier products. These words are referenced in respect to my clients' experience of working together with me through the Creative Coping Course).
It turns out (working with Tamara) was more powerful than I could ever have imagined. I didn’t expect a complete reboot…I didn’t even know I needed one!
I loved how accessible (Tamara's content) was - I could absorb it from bed, in my lunch-hour, sitting in the café. I could do it and achieve it; I have a toddler, I’m working, and I could still do it.
I can summarise the experience in two words... “Thank God.” That’s it – that’s my response. It’s been my saviour.
I feel like I’ve been rebooted. I feel like I’m back to myself. Relationships in my life have been improving.
And, more than that, the little pieces that you spoke at times were just GOLDEN. I felt that if I had only read your work, it wouldn’t have been the same – hearing your voice was where the power was.
Some of the things you taught were like a ‘slap in the face’… ‘light bulbs’ …. ‘a kick in the shin.’ Not brutally, but wham …there it is, in a TRUTHFUL kind of way. Like … INJECT THIS INTO YOUR THINKING AND TURN YOUR THINKING ON ITS HEAD.
I didn’t want the course to end! I felt a little ‘end of course grief’ when we finished… and then I received your farewell package in the mail… and I cried (happy tears!).
All of it, the presentation, delivery, your teachings and voice, they were part of this rebooting of me…
"AMAZING. I think EVERYONE IN THE WORLD NEEDS TO DO THIS ..!!
Seriously, I'm driving everyone around me mad; I can't stop talking about it [the course]. It’s quirky and fantastic. And I don't think it's just me; anyone would find this course extremely fun and valuable as well. Every tool, every principle, was so DAMN HELPFUL...!!!"
I’m the kind of person who is a weird learner. If it doesn’t click with me – I can’t pick it up. But when it ‘clicks’ I remember it and take with me forever. Your material is like that. It just ‘clicks.’
I’m sharing your questions and content with so many people around me – and I know it’s helping them too. I think everyone needs to do this kind of a course…! Everyone is struggling in their own way.
The whole course was just INCREDIBLE.
One of the best things was I found my relationship with my husband has deepened again; we even went away together, which is something we haven’t done in a LONG time.
Going through the course, you can relate it immediately to your own life. Remembering how ‘to be you’ has been a big part of the process.
YOU KNOW THAT WORD WHERE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’VE BEEN ASLEEP AND YOU’RE IN A RUT……AND THEN SUDDENLY YOU FEEL REJUVENATED AND ALIVE AND AWAKE AGAIN…? …
Well. If there’s a word for that… that’s how I feel after completing Creative Coping.
“In life in general, words can’t express how much [working with Tamara] has helped me. I don’t know where I would be. It’s been an absolute game changer.”
Meet your Mentor for this journey
Who is this Tamara Hogan chick anyway...?
Tamara holds a Bachelor of Occupational Therapy, and has spent years specialising in the intangible world of the psyche as a mental health clinician.
These days she combines her therapy skills, with her own personal life experiences and tool kit, working as mentor to individuals wanting to move beyond 'just surviving' to a place where they are no-buts-about-it, thriving.
She is an author, workshop leader and developer of personal-development courses for the Soulful type hankering for more outta' life.
Every effort has been made to accurately portray this program and its potential. Each person and couple is different, and their success depends on their history, current life situation, internal and emotional resources, motivation, and commitment. None of the tools or methodology explored in this course is intended to replace the advice of health professionals or your trusted Doctor. Nothing on this site, including any forward-looking statements, can be a promise or guarantee of outcomes. No guarantees are made that you will achieve any results from these ideas or models. In this capacity, I am unable to offer any professional, legal, psychological, medical or financial advice. For any such related service, please seek the advice of the relevant professional. If you are experiencing untreated, or non-stabilised mental illness or if you have an unresolved trauma history, please seek the advice of your trusted medical and/or health professional. You are responsible for your own health and wellbeing, and also for your choice to participate in this program at all times, including prior to, during and after your completion of this course. Due to the length and level of personal attention in this course I do not have capacity to offer you a refund once you have made payment. Please contact myself directly as the course administrator if you need to discuss this further or run into difficulty with payment.